Unspoken Past
by blue-hearts
Summary: COMPLETEDSirius before Azkaban. Sirius finds someone but he can't have her because she doesn't see him. Not as she see's James. Not a Mary Sue. SiriusOC
1. Default Chapter

Unspoken Past  
  
James and Sirius sit under a shady tree. School has just started and nothing can be better than jokes and fun with Sirius's best friend James. It was the first weekend after school started. The weather is beautiful. Different coloured leaves, the air is not too hot and not too cold.  
  
Lupin walks over and sits beside them. "Hey, don't you guys ever have work to do? Its your 3rd year, things should be harder than they were last year."  
  
"Moony, you know us. Our homework's been done ages ago." Replied James but further conversation about the topic was interrupted as he saw Lily Evans walk onto the grounds. He sighed.  
  
"Haha, James, just ask the damn girl out will you? You're starting to stalk and that's no good." Joked Sirius.  
  
"If only I could. But when time comes, I will, I will." Said James. It took him so much effort to take his eyes away from Lily. He doesn't even notice him. What was he supposed to do? Of course they hang out together, they have their little get togethers' with the other guys but never alone. And she never seemed to be the type to really be in love with anyone. That fiery red headed make of perfection.  
  
"Damn James, why are you so girl crazy? Wait let me rephrase that. Damn James why are you so Evans crazy?" taunted Sirius. They all laughed, it was true. He was only in his 3rd year at Hogwarts but ever since the first time James laid eyes on Lily in his first year at Hogwarts he had fallen in love with her.  
  
***  
  
Kaitlyn walked into the Hufflepuff common room. She took a seat and started on her endless amount of homework. It was her very first weekend at Hogwarts and she was spending it inside working on some essay that professor Binns gave her for History of Magic. Kaitlyn had long black hair that she never cared for. She always just carelessly held it up to keep out of her way. She never had time for that type of thing. She had to concentrate on school. She had thought everything was made out for her when she was with her parents. She wanted to go to a normal school with normal friends. Then the day came when she got the letter from Hogwarts. She hated magic. Magic was evil and it made no sense to her. She loved science and math. Not some kind of bizarre thing. She wanted a normal life. She hated it here. She made no effort what so ever to make friends. She liked it that way. Unless there was someone out there who hated Hogwarts as much as she had. She had to come. Her parents wanted her to. They don't even know where the magic came from. Well, magic seemed to work with her though. When she did everything right things worked. She never believed in magic she didn't like it. None of it was able to be scientifically proven; except Potions of course. It was a science. She loved Potions class. It reminded her so much of Chemistry. She missed it so much.  
  
It took her hours to finish that simple essay. She often looked out the window and watched as other students were playing outside. Of course she knew that she was not the first student to attend Hogwarts not knowing one bit of magic at all. But she wanted to be with her few friends. Her best friend Jacquelyn was the one she missed the most. Too bad Jacq's not a freak like me She thought to herself. Jacquelyn would understand how weird it was for Kaitlyn to be here  
  
Jacquelyn was her best friend but they had so many striking differences. For one thing Jacq didn't care much about science or math. She cared about boys and the arts. Jacq was an amazing artist. How Kaitlyn would give up Hogwarts to be with Jacq now. She often wrote letters to Jacq but needed her parents to mail it after she sent it to them through owl mail. Jacq would freak if she found out what Kaitlyn was. She told Jacquelyn that her parents were making her go to a private school in France. This wasn't very hard for Jacq to believe because Kait was such an amazing student and so many things.  
  
By the time Kaitlyn was done her essay it was time for dinner. She slowly made her way down to the Great Hall. Some students were already there. She sat by herself eating her dinner. The food was strange. It was good but strange and especially the names they had for the food.  
  
She ate as quickly as she could and dismissed herself back upstairs. But she got lost; she went into a weird hall. Where was she? She was starting to get worried after a few more moments. But then its not like anyone would care that she was gone so it doesn't really matter. That seemed to have calmed her down a bit. This place was not only weird but it was scary. To have magic everywhere you go.  
  
Then she heard someone call her, "Hey!"  
  
Kaitlyn turned around and saw a girl with long silky brown hair running after her. "Yes?" Kaitlyn replied.  
  
"I'm Persephone. I'm a Hufflepuff too. I notice you just hang out by yourself so I was wondering if you'd want to spend some time with my friends and me."  
  
"Oh, uh, sure. That would be great but could you help me find my way back to the common room first? I think I'm lost."  
  
"Oh, ya, I heard from my big sister that it takes about 3 months to get used to this place and still it is very easy to get lost."  
  
Persephone led Kaitlyn back to the Hufflepuff common room. They sat and talked for a while. Persephone was a beautiful girl. You could tell right off that she was one of the really popular girls in the school. She was so casual and so calm about everything and she was really pretty. Long straight brown hair that looked perfect.  
  
Just then some of Persephone's friends entered the common room.  
  
"Hey Persey! Who is this?"  
  
"Oh, Hey Mel, this is Kaitlyn. She's a first year too." Replied Persephone coolly.  
  
"Hey Kaitlyn, great meeting you. You're the girl by the window in the girls dormitory aren't you?"  
  
Kaitlyn went red. She was by herself; she was not popular like these girls. She nodded slightly fully aware of the colour change in her complexion.  
  
"That's great though. Don't be embarrassed. Here, have some chocolate. It'll make you feel much better."  
  
Kaitlyn took some. It had in deed made her feel better. She felt so warm inside. She felt like there was courage all around the place and she was going to be part of it all. She was talking to the popular group. This can't happen. She can't be part of anything popular. It wasn't allowed. Not according to her anyway but it felt good to be with them. But if she wasn't mistaken, they liked her. 


	2. Part 2

***  
  
Three months went by. Sirius and James were still hanging out. They were smart guys; nothing was ever too difficult for them. But they could no longer go outside and sit under the shade. They had to stay in the school because the weather was starting to change. It was much colder than it had been 3 months earlier.  
  
James sat a great amount of distance with Lily. He noticed that. He always noticed her. Her presence was enchanting and he always knew where she was. Her back was facing him. He was just watching her and laughing with his best friend. It was great. He didn't have to confess anything. They had so many years to go. He would never have to tell her how he longed for her every moment of the day.  
  
"James, just go tell her." Sirius noticed that stupid expression James always had on his face whenever he saw Lily. It was fun to make jokes about but Sirius would never go too far. He knew where the line was, James loved Lily and Sirius knew that one-day, they would be together.  
  
"It's not like that. These things take time and patience. You'll know when you find that special someone in your life. You don't want to make a mistake and ruin everything. You wont want to risk anything that might cause something as fragile as a relationship to fall apart."  
  
The truth was, Sirius could get any girl he wanted. He knew that but he didn't want just any girl. Although he kept taunting James about it, he himself was exactly like James. He wanted to wait. Wait until the perfect girl came along and stole his heart. Some part of him envied James. James was certain, he had someone to look at. Not Sirius, not yet anyway. Sirius had never felt anything more than a slight infatuation for a girl.  
  
They decided to take a walk. It was boring watching Lupin study anyway. They left the common room searching for something interesting to do.  
  
Sirius noticed something else that interested him and would certainly get James's attention as well. Serveus Snape was sitting all by himself in the corner of the hall looking a bit flustered. "Look, Snape is in trouble. What shall we do about it? Leave him alone? I don't think so."  
  
So both Sirius and James made their way over and crouched down near Snape.  
  
Snape ignored them at first. They were always trying to make Snape look bad. Always trying to make fun of him.  
  
"So, why does Snape look so troubled?" said Sirius.  
  
"Hum, lets see shall we Sirius?" replied James. "Ah, Professor Binn's essay huh? Well that was easy wasn't it Sirius." Sirius nodded, "But I personally preferred what Professor Flitwick taught us today in class." A smile crept on James's face.  
  
Before Snape could react James took out his wand and said Accio Quill and Snapes quill flew out of his hand and into James's hand. "Now, Snapy here would not be able to do his work now would he without this quill."  
  
Snape took out his wand but before he could even think of something to get back at James for, Sirius had his wand ready and said Accio Wand and Snapes wand was now with Sirius. James and Sirius howled with laughter but then someone stepped in.  
  
"What are you guys doing to him? Give him back his things!" proclaimed Lily  
  
"Oh, Evans, we're just having some fun. Why are you backing up Snape here anyway? You don't' fancy him do you? You're always backing him out of things." asked James.  
  
Lily went red and said, "I'm serious James Potter! Give him back his things or I'm going to have to tell someone about this. Leave him alone."  
  
"Okay okay, it was just a joke. Don't get so caught up about it." James tossed Snape back his quill and Sirius tossed Snapes wand back.  
  
Snape picked up his things and went into a hall. Most likely heading for the Slytherin common room.  
  
Lily turned to walk away but then James caught the moment.  
  
"Lily, you don't really fancy Snape do you?"  
  
"James, who I like is up to me. It is none of your business" and she stalked away. 


	3. Part 3

"Don't worry about it James." Said Sirius, "It'll be okay. She doesn't like him. Even if she ever did he would never like her. She's half muggle. You know for a fact that Slytherin's hate muggles with all their being. It's just the way things are. Now lets go get ourselves some food."  
  
They went down to the kitchenery when all of a sudden two girls came walking out of a hall. Obviously Hufflepuff's thought Sirius.  
  
The one with the long brown hair waved to them and hurried to join them.  
  
"Hey, what are you guys doing out so late?" said Persephone with a great big smile on her face.  
  
"We were getting a bit bored watching everyone in the common room working." Replied Sirius.  
  
James still hadn't said anything. Neither had Kaitlyn.  
  
Persephone saw that neither of them said anything and not knowing anything about Lily because both Persephone and Kaitlyn were both 2 years younger than James and Sirius decided it would be very cute if they got together. "Hey James. You okay?" asked Persephone.  
  
James was careful trying not to meet with any ones eyes. He was still caught up that Lily had said that to him. It was his problem. He cared about her. He wanted the guy she liked to be him but as things looked, it was going to be Snape.  
  
Sirius answered for James, "He's fine. Just a little something is bothering him." Sirius desperately trying to change the subject said, "And who's this? I don't think I've ever seen you before." Motioning towards Kaitlyn.  
  
"Oh, this is Kaitlyn. She's a first year just like me. The whole group hangs with her. She's cool but she likes to study a lot." Said Persephone.  
  
Although Kaitlyn didn't look like she cared much about her appearance there was something about her that made her very beautiful. And Sirius saw this. "Hey Kaitlyn" he smiled at her and stuck out his hand for a handshake.  
  
"Um, Hi." said Kaitlyn slightly blushing reaching for his hand.  
  
"Sirius. My name is Sirius Black."  
  
"Oh, okay, Hi Sirius." Said Kaitlyn and she shook Sirius's hand. She couldn't help feeling something there but she was too embarrassed at the moment to do anything about it.  
  
"Uh, are you guys going to be shaking hands forever? Lets go get some food." Interrupted Persephone. And she grabbed Sirius by the arm and looped her own hand into his arm and walked off to the picture of the bowl of fruit in another hall.  
  
Sirius didn't turn around. He couldn't look at Kaitlyn. He knew she was beautiful and he had never ever in his entire 14 years of his life ever felt that before. Right when Kaitlyn had touched his hand there was something there. But he wasn't going to think about it. It couldn't be. He was not going to get himself all caught up in love like James is.  
  
James and Kaitlyn followed Persephone and Sirius to the kitchenery quietly. Kaitlyn was bright red and James looked as if he could not be in a more uncomfortable position. This made Kaitlyn blush even more. James didn't like her. Maybe he thought she was ugly. Oh my, what if.  
  
Her thoughts were broken when Persephone said, "You guys wait here. We'll bring out the food." With her arm still wrapped around Sirius's she giggled and entered the kitchenery with Sirius.  
  
Great thought James; first I get yelled at by Lily now I'm stuck with some silly first year who probably thinks I'm the meanest person alive. James still hadn't brought himself to look at Kaitlyn yet. He was still too distraught about Lily.  
  
He saw that Kaitlyn slowly walked away. She was looking around the hall. Looking at pictures and statues around the hall. He looked up at her. She was very pretty. She didn't look like she cared much about the way she looked. She had big round glasses that covered almost all of her face. Her hair was carelessly held together by an elastic. But she had an amazing bone structure. She looked well different. She didn't need make up to be pretty. She wasn't like the other girls. She was naturally pretty. Other girls needed to apply make up and do their hair and fuss about everything. He just starred at her for a while. For a moment, everything seemed better. He totally forgot about Lily. He forgot what she said to him. He forgot how upset he was when she said that to him. What did she say to him? Oh he couldn't remember now.  
  
Kaitlyn felt someone looking at her. The only person in the hall was James. She ignored it. Pretending she didn't notice anything. She didn't know how to react. She wasn't confident like Persephone. She wasn't beautiful like her. She didn't know how to walk or talk or even eat like her. What would she say to him? Uh, stop looking at me?! No way. That was so childish. She turned away realising that she was started to turn a slight pink colour again.  
  
Just then Sirius and Persephone left the Kitchenary with bags of food. Also laughing like they were having a great time.  
  
Kaitlyn turned and without realizing it she had turned too far. Instead of her eyes meeting the two laughing individuals she met James's eyes. They were looking at her, no, looking through her. She slowly walked over to Persephone helping her with the food. She ignored James. She couldn't let her know she noticed him looking at her. She didn't know what to do. 


	4. Part 4

Kaitlyn smiled as she helped Persephone and Sirius with the food. She was beautiful. James couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her smile was incredible. it was like.  
  
"Hey, are you just going to sit their buddy?" laughed Sirius. "Your not still-"  
  
"No" James cut him short. The last thing James wanted Kaitlyn to know was about Lily. He went over and put some of the food into his cloak pockets therefore helping empty the bag completely.  
  
They were right outside the Great Hall and they said their goodbyes and goodnights. They walked their separate ways.  
  
"So James, you feeling any better?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah. It doesn't matter. I mean, if she doesn't like me and wants to go for a sleazy Slytherin then fine with me." Replied James bitterly.  
  
"Hey, you okay? I mean you've liked her for a long time now. Don't let something like that get to you. She was probably just angry that you did that to Snape. She didn't mean it. You embarrassed her in front of Snape." Affirming Sirius.  
  
They reached the Griffindore common room, "Lions Lair" Sirius said and the Fat Lady's portrait opened and let them in. They climbed into the common room. It was still filled with a few students trying to get some last minute work done. They walked over to Lupin and passed over some food. They sat there laughing about what they had done to Snape earlier. Although Lupin didn't really approve, it was still funny.  
  
Just then Lily walked by and she looked at them and turned bright red with anger and stalked off upstairs to the 3rd year girls dormitory.  
  
James couldn't help shake off what Lily had said to him earlier now that they were back to seeing terms. Where they actually saw each other again. But he also couldn't forget Kaitlyn's smile. She was so pretty. He didn't want to tell Sirius or Lupin about it though. They would laugh at him some more. He remembered what they had said to him when he first told them he fancied Lily. He would never hear the end of it. A Hufflepuff? What could he possibly be thinking?  
  
***  
  
The next month or so went by as a blur. Their homework was starting to increase but James and Sirius were still able to manage their work and have it done a great amount of time before anyone else. They didn't have to worry about prefects and OWL's yet. They were still only in their 3rd year. That was for at least their 4th year.  
  
Valentines Day was creeping up very quickly and this year, instead of the usual Hogsmed visit the staff had decided to have a dance; a Valentines dance.  
  
The Griffindor's returned to the common room and saw the notice posted on the common room bulletin board.  
  
Valentine's Day Dance  
  
For all students  
Students may dress up in appropriate dress clothes  
A Prize will be given for the best couple  
  
The girls were all suddenly very excited. They had never had anything like this before. Not even the 7th years.  
  
"So, you going to ask Lily or what? It's perfect time now. You have an excuse." Said Sirius to James.  
  
"Uh, no. No I'm not. I was just-" said James but he was cut off when he heard something.  
  
"So would you go with him if he asked you Lily?" said Faye, one of Lily's very close friends.  
  
"No. He's not a gentleman at all." Replied Lily. But James couldn't help noticing a little blush in Lily's cheeks as she said that. He ignored it.  
  
James wasn't going to be played for a fool. And it didn't matter. The one he really wanted to ask wasn't Lily and now he had an excuse to tell Sirius. "See. Did you hear that? She doesn't even want to go with me. I'm not going to ask if she doesn't want to go with me anyway." 


	5. Part 5

"Come on James. You know she was just joking. She doesn't know what she's saying. Just ask her will you?" pleaded Sirius.  
  
"No. There's no point. And I think the past month has been the best month I have ever had. With that he left the common room and Sirius followed with his arms crossed.  
  
Once again when they reached the Great Hall they bumped into Persephone and Kaitlyn.  
  
"Hungry again are we now?" said Sirius who's heart suddenly lightened at the sight of Kaitlyn.  
  
"Ha ha Sirius. And why are you out at this time again?" said Persephone who was smiling so brightly you could hardly see her eyes. "So, have you guys heard about the dance? Its only in a week or two." She blushed and looked at Sirius.  
  
"Oh, yeah, that silly thing. The girls are going crazy over it. What about you two, are you two going to get all dressed up for it?" he was trying to get some sign from Kaitlyn. He hadn't been able to get his mind off her for the past month, every since they shook hands. And every time he thought about her, he would unconsciously either start holding that hand or look at it or sometimes when he's studying he would lift it up to his face.  
  
"Of course! How often does Hogwarts have a dance?" replied Persephone as if she was a bit taken back. Then she turned to go. "Well, we're going to go. I need to talk to Kaitlyn about something." And they ran off.  
  
Sirius couldn't help but noticed that James looked more annoyed than when they left the common room.  
  
***  
  
When they were out of earshot of James and Sirius Persephone stopped and looked at Kaitlyn. "What if you go to the dance with James and I go with Sirius. Would you be okay with that? I mean we can get dressed up and we can help you get ready for the dance. Will you?" Persephone looked desperate.  
  
"Uh, I don't even think James would want to go with me. If he say's he wants to go with me then sure. I don't mind. Its not like I have anyone else in mind." Replied Kaitlyn.  
  
"Great!" replied Persephone.  
  
They both ran back into the Great Hall but they weren't there. Persephone headed towards the direction the Griffindor always enter the Great Hall from and there they were. Walking slowly back to their common room. "Hey! Sirius! James!"  
  
They turned around.  
  
"Ya?" replied Sirius looking as if he could not be more confused than he was right then and there.  
  
"Come here for a second will you?" said Persephone trying to catch her breath.  
  
They made there way slowly back toward the Great Hall. They both looked so confused.  
  
"Kaitlyn and I were wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with us." She looked up at Sirius. "You know"  
  
Sirius's eyes lit up. "I'd love to go to the dance with-"  
  
Persephone cut in, "Oh really? Great! I'll meet you at 7 and Kaitlyn and James can work things out amongst themselves!" she exclaimed.  
  
Sirius was in shock. No. He didn't want to go with Persephone. He wanted to go with Kaitlyn. But he wasn't about to show that. He wasn't going to show Persephone that. That was one of the first things he had learned as a gentleman. Never ever hurt a lady. He smiled and said, "Yes. Of course"  
  
Kaitlyn had turned red again. She wouldn't meet eyes with James. What if he said he didn't want to go to the dance wit her? Then what would she do? She would be so humiliated. But instead she heard him say "Okay" but his voice didn't sound like he was just doing this because he was being forced to. There was a faint sound of a squeak in that Okay. She smiled brightly at him and looked up at him.  
  
They were just standing there when James realized that they were acting strange. "Um, so I'll meet you at 7 too. At the top of the stairs then?"  
  
Kaitlyn blushed, "Okay. 7 on top of the stairs."  
  
Persephone squeaked of joy and said, "Okay then. We'll see you around." She waved at them and grabbed Kaitlyn to leave with her.  
  
When they were back inside the common room Persephone was so excited, "Oh my God. I can't believe that this is actually happening. This can't be. I mean. Wow. Sirius Black. I'm going to the dance with Sirius Black."  
  
Kaitlyn on the other hand was definitely not excited. She was nervous. She had never even gone to a dance before let along going to a dance with a boy.  
  
Persephone sensed the tenseness in Kaitlyns expression, "You'll do fine sweet heart. Now we just have to get you something for your eyes. And nice gown would be nice. You do have some right?"  
  
Kaitlyn shook her head. "I've never been to a dance before Persy."  
  
"Oh don't worry about it. I have tonnes. I'll lend one to you. Come, come! Lets go see!" said Persephone excitedly but all Persy could think about was Sirius Black. 


	6. Part 6

***  
  
As it was drawing close to the last 3 days of the dance James noticed that Lily seemed very nervous.  
  
Finally Lily decided to ask herself. She wasn't going to wait until he did it. He may never ask.  
  
Lily walked up to James and said, "So, the dance is on Friday. Want to go?" without looking at James.  
  
"No." replied James flatly. He didn't need to give Lily and explanation. He didn't need to tell anyone anything.  
  
Lily looked shocked. "And why not?"  
  
James shrugged and returned to his conversation with Sirius and Lupin.  
  
Lily looked at Sirius and Sirius gave up, "Your too late. James is already going with someone else."  
  
Lily's jaw dropped. "With who?"  
  
James had enough. He was sitting right there. If he wanted Lily to pry herself into his personal life she could at least have the nerve to get the information from him when he was ready to give it to her. "Why do you care who I'm going to the dance with?"  
  
Lily was all red. And she stalked off in a slight run to the girl's dormitory.  
  
"You know James, you didn't need to do that. I mean. She wanted to go to the dance with you. She just didn't know the details yet. Why didn't you just explain to her?" asked Sirius disappointed.  
  
"Because, that's what she said to me remember. Well if I don't care then she shouldn't care?" Replied James.  
  
"But James, Girls are like that. They like to play around. Just enjoy it, don't stress yourself out with this." Replied Sirius.  
  
"It's getting late. We should go." Said Remus Lupin.  
  
***  
  
Valentine's Day has arrived and all the girls were busy getting ready for the dance.  
  
"So, who is Lily going to the dance with then?" asked Sirius.  
  
"How should I know? Who cares? I don't." replied James.  
  
Remus had ignored their conversation. He felt very uncomfortable with them talking about things like this. Remus loved these guys to death but sometimes when they talk about someone they go too far.  
  
They made their way to the Great Hall. Remus hadn't joined them. He said he forgot something in his dormitory and told them to go ahead of him. He would meet up with them later. James stayed at the top of the stairs. Secretly Sirius wanted to stay there with him. He wanted to be in James's place so much at the moment but he liked Persephone. As a friend anyway and this was just a dance, nothing big. Sirius told James that he would wait for James and Kaitlyn outside the Great Hall.  
  
Kaitlyn appeared and James almost didn't recognize her at all. She wasn't wearing her glasses and her hair was put up in a neat twirl on the back of her head. She was wearing a dress that fit her slender body perfectly. When Kaitlyn tapped him on the shoulder he almost asked if she was new to the school.  
  
James palms were getting sweaty. He was going to walk into the Great Hall with her. She was, 'Wow'.  
  
He held out an arm and she looped her small hand around his arm as they made their way down the stairs to the Great Hall.  
  
Persephone just greeted Sirius and they were both smiling. Persephone looked great. But she looked as she always did except now she was wearing a dress instead of a cloak. When James walked down with the girl beside him Sirius didn't believe it. Was that Kaitlyn? Sirius almost died. Oh how much he wanted to be in James's shoes right now, to be able to hold Kaitlyn and be with her.  
  
Sirius gave them a small smile and turned into the Great Hall. He couldn't look at her much more. It was really going to kill him soon.  
  
The Great Hall was beautifully decorated with a Pink and Silver theme for Valentines Day. 


	7. Part 7

A few minutes later Remus Lupin had entered with someone. She was very pretty. Then when James got a closer look he realized who it was. It was Lily. Lily and Remus together, at the dance. James went over to them and greeted them. Lily almost dropped her jaw when she saw Kaitlyn. Lily had never seen Kaitlyn before so it wasn't that much of a shock for Lily.  
  
Lily glared at Kaitlyn, "So, this is the type of girl you are going for now huh? Well, good for you James Potter." She tugged at Remus to join her and get away from James. She couldn't look at him. She was so ashamed of him, so disappointed in him. I thought better of you James but you're like every other guy. Only out for the best looking girl.  
  
"Lily, you do know that James, that James isn't like what you think right? Yeah, sure she was gorgeous but Lily, you have to understand, he was so furious with you that night. That night when you told him that he shouldn't care about who you fancy. You hurt him Lily, you hurt him a lot." Said Remus. Remus liked Lily. She has always been a very pretty girl. Very bright and has great morals but when she gets irrational she doesn't think. Remus knew what was happening. He was doing this for a friend. He could not deny that he himself found Lily Evans a very attractive young lady. She was herself, full of fiery red hair and a personality that would knock you dead.  
  
"And what about her? She's all over him, that-that hotshot walking on legs. Who does she think she is anyway?" Lily was almost in tears. She knew it was her fault all this had happened. She was trying to get James jealous but in return James had got her back. It was her own fault though and she understood that now. But what was she going to do? She couldn't apologize to him. That would make her seem bitterer than when she had stopped talking to him.  
  
"I'm sorry Remus, I have to go." She said and tried to pull away but Remus caught her arm, "Lily, don't let something so small ruin your day, and ruin my day. Lily I know you like James but could you give me today? Just one day?"  
  
How could Lily deny Remus something as simple as that? He helped her through so much. He was a very good friend of hers and she didn't want to give that up.  
  
***  
  
"Um, James, who was that? Is she okay? She seemed really upset because of me." Said Kaitlyn worried. What had she done? She is out with some guy who she didn't even know. Although she didn't know many guys and she spent most of her time trying to avoid them as much as she could. No one had asked her to the dance, no one. Maybe James was out with her as a pity friend. This didn't lift her spirits any more. She slowly took her hand back from James's arm.  
  
James knew what she must have been thinking. She feels bad. She thinks that it was her fault I got yelled at by Lily. Well I'll show Lily for making an innocent girl hurt. "No, its okay. She's always like that Lily. It's okay. Just ignore her and everything's going to be okay."  
  
James took Kaitlyn and they started dancing in the Hall. Then suddenly they found themselves outside in a courtyard and a very nice looking courtyard at that. They stopped dancing and decided to go for a walk through the courtyard. They disappeared into a row of high trees. It was like a little maze.  
  
Sirius had unconsciously followed them. Persephone hardly even noticed. She was just hanging on his arm the entire night. Waving at everyone she could see. She was very pretty and she looked great next to the amazingly charming Sirius Black. He knew she liked the attention and he decided to let her enjoy the moment.  
  
She almost protested to going into the courtyard away from all the attention then she realized that they would be alone and that was something she had wanted for a long time. Ever since her sister had showed her the picture of Sirius a few years ago she had fallen in love with him at once. It was his first year. He looked magnificent then and he looks just as magnificent now.  
  
They walked around the corner of the tall trees and entered the courtyard full of darkness and a very dim light. Not looking back to see if anyone was following they just kept walking.  
  
Lily charmingly guided Remus into the courtyard after James. She watched him disappear into the trees and she wasn't going to let him go so easily. She loved him. She knew that. And she wasn't going to lose that to some witch who she didn't even know. 


	8. Part 8

When they almost caught up to Sirius and Persephone she heard a very uncomfortable Sirius trying to get away from something or someone. She hurried a little with Remus. His eyebrows narrowed, Remus isn't that bad looking, he looks like he can really protect. The girl he chooses will be very lucky. With this thought Lily smiled a bit, she was very happy for her friend.  
  
When they turned the corner they saw Sirius backed up against a tall bush and who was on him but none other than Persephone.  
  
"Persy, uh" there was sweat running down Sirius's face as he was trying to push Persephone off him. "Persy what are you doing?"  
  
"What did you want? I would have though this was what you wanted leading me into the courtyard and everything." Said Persephone trying to kiss Sirius.  
  
Sirius turned his head and saw Remus and Lily coming to his rescue. He was so grateful. "Lily, Remus!"  
  
"Whats going on?" asked Remus.  
  
Persephone looked harassed, "What are you guys doing? Following us?"  
  
Lily looked at Persephone, "Uh, Persy are you okay?"  
  
"No, will you leave Sirius and me alone please?" she looked so angry.  
  
Lily was about to leave when she caught a look on Sirius's face. "Uh, no, we can't. We were looking for Sirius about something very important."  
  
Persephone looked so angry now, "Fine!" she shouted then she turned to face Sirius, "I'll be in the Hall if you ever want to see me again." She turned on her heel and stormed off.  
  
"Oh man. Thank God you guys came along. I would have been finished." Exclaimed Sirius. "I think it's the whole Valentine atmosphere that got to her. That was so scary."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." replied Lily but she was busy looking around. Trying to get above the trees to see if she could see James.  
  
She spotted the two dark haired individuals walking towards them. She grabbed Remus and tugged at Sirius to come with her. This place was private. Sirius and Remus were her friends. She knew they would understand and she didn't care if that girl heard her. She had to tell James.  
  
She saw them turn the corner and he was laughing at something that girl had just said and he looked up and stopped. The girl had stopped as well. Then Lily realized how strange this must look. They were blocking the way back to the Hall and they were just standing there, the three of them. 


	9. Part 9

"Uh, hi!" said the girl. She let go of James and stepped forward. She was starting to turn a bit red in the cheeks. "Your Lily right? I'm really sorry about earlier. If I did an-"  
  
Lily realized that she was still holding on to Remus and Sirius so she decided to let go.  
  
"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for being bitter though." Smiled Lily. She didn't want to hurt this girl she looked so scared and she seemed quite nice actually.  
  
The girl looked so relieved. She smiled and it was quite pretty if Lily had to say so herself.  
  
Lily turned her attention to James. "I was wondering if I could apologize. I didn't know how much it had hurt you when I told you that you shouldn't care about who I like and that I was none of your business. I was just so angry that you were both picking on Serveus. And I'm sorry for being so bitter to anyone else in the process." That last part was directed to Kaitlyn but Lily still didn't know her name and this was not the right time to find out.  
  
Lily kept her eyes on James. She didn't want to lose him.  
  
James looked at her. "It's okay Lily and I should be sorry as well. I was too bitter in the common room that night. But I really don't think that," he could see that Lily's eyes suddenly became quite red around the corners "we should be together. We are still young. We should cool off first. Its not the right time." He looked over at Kaitlyn and said, "I'm sorry. I thought that maybe if you could make me forget about Lily it was going to be okay but the truth is, I've loved Lily the moment I saw her but," he looked at Lily again, "there's time. And things like this take time. And when time comes, we'll both know." He looked at Lily and he stretched out a hand to her. She had tears trickling down her face but she was smiling and she walked to him and he hugged her with so much might that if she wasn't hugging him back and feeling so happy about it she would have pushed him away.  
  
Kaitlyn stood there beside them. Looking at them and she started walking away from them. Well, her date had found the one he truly loved. There was no reason for her to hang around anymore. She smiled at them and started making her way to the Hall once again. She couldn't help but let a tear down her cheek. It wasn't a tear because she was sad but because she was happy. She was happy for them. But she couldn't help thinking deep down inside that the first guy she had ever went on a date with turned out to be with some other girl by the end of the night. She felt so ugly.  
  
She forgot that in order to get back to the Hall she was going to have to pass by Remus and Sirius. Sirius saw the tear fall down her cheek. He wanted more than anything to run to her. To hold her and tell her that it was going to be okay. That he was going to protect her and make everything all better but could he. He had no right to do that. But he had to. He had to tell her. If he didn't tell her now he wasn't ever going to be able to look himself in the mirror again.  
  
He followed her, "Kait!" she kept walking. She didn't hear him. "Kaitlyn!" he said louder.  
  
She turned around and looked up at him with teary eyes. Her lips were trembling as she tried to smile at him.  
  
He ran to her and took her hand in his. There it was again. He felt it. It was stronger now. It was so strong. He was sure it was real now. "Do you feel that?" he looked into her eyes.  
  
She managed to choke out a "What? Do I feel what?" between her tearing.  
  
"The beating, the humming" he now had both their hands in front of their faces. Like there was a piece of glass between them and that they were trying to reach each other.  
  
She sniffed, "No, I don't feel anything. What are you talking about?" trying to make sense of everything but it wasn't working. She was sad and happy at the same moment. She didn't love James but he was the first boy she had ever gone out with and that meant a great deal to her, to someone who had never even gotten a second look from and boy before. The girl who none of the other boys wanted to date because she was a mess. She was smart but she was a mess. She didn't care about how she looked and James had gone out with her without complaint anyway. Even if he did it as a friend he was a very nice friend that she didn't know if she would still be able to have that anymore after all that just happened.  
  
Sirius saw fresh tears forming at the rims of her eyes. Sirius took her in his arms. She was crying now. She was crying so hard. Had she really fallen in love with James? Is she hurt? Is she hurt that it was Sirius and not James here holding her? It didn't matter though. For the first time Sirius felt real love. He knew because the one thought that went through his head was that he wanted her to be happy. None of the other girl's feelings truly deeply mattered to him before. He would just be nice because that was the right thing to do. For the first time a girl was crying not because he himself had hurt her but because of someone else. His own happiness didn't matter because he, for the very first time, understood. He understood that as long as she was happy, he was going to be okay. It would be great if she was with him but if that was not what she wanted then he wasn't going to force her into anything. He wanted her to be happy. He knew this because when he saw the fresh tears running down her face, he felt his heart breaking. 


	10. Part 10

They were like that for almost 10 minutes but it was okay. He got to hold her and that was what he wanted. He used to charm girls like no tomorrow. He had never done anything with them. He was still 14 years old. But he had never felt such a powerful urge as he did now that he needed to hold a girl, to hold her not until he was content but until she was ready. Until she felt that everything was going to be okay again.  
  
She pushed herself away from him and whipped her eyes and her cheeks of dried tears. She looked at him. His arm was on her waist where her dress was and his thumb was lightly stroking her dress. For some reason she felt that his thumb was beating. She looked at him with confused eyes. She looked into his eyes "Beating" she whispered.  
  
He looked into her eyes. She felt it. She felt it now that she was calm and ready to feel again. She felt it. She felt it. That's all he could think about.  
  
She took a step back her eyes were still wide on Sirius. He had let go of her waist when she stepped back away from him. He was expecting her to walk away from him but she didn't. She was looking at him. She was trying to read him. Trying to analyze the situation like a scientist would. She swallowed and put up her hand like she wanted a high five but it was the same position he had put their hands 10 minutes ago when he asked her about the humming and the beating himself.  
  
Sirius was afraid. He was afraid. He slowly pulled his hand from his side. This was the test. She needed to know. And some part of him wanted to know too. Then the thought came to his mind. When two people who are born to be together from the beginning of eternity meet skin to skin there is nothing that can tear them apart. At the last word he had put his hand on hers. They met and they both felt it. He knew because he was part of her and she was part of him. And he was okay with that. It was going to be okay.  
  
It was incredible. He was looking at the hands. She looked horrified. Then she whispered, "I feel the humming. I don't hear it. I feel it."  
  
He smiled at her and she caught his eye. She smiled back at him but for the first time she didn't blush. She hadn't turned red or pink or any other colour. And then it was as if he could read her mind and he said, "It's because we're not just anyone else. We're not just anybody."  
  
She then replied with a voice so soft she could hardly hear herself, "Then- then what are we?"  
  
He took her in his arms. He was holding her. Holding her like he had when she was crying except now her face wasn't in his chest full of tears. Her head was on his shoulder. She closed her eyes. She could feel the emotion behind her face ready to spill out all the emotion from when she was young, all the emotion from when she was lost and unwanted. She could feel all the emotions that were there when every girl in her class would have a date for a dance and she wouldn't even show up to the dance in fear that the boys might laugh at her. In fear that she would be pulled away from her science and that was where her comfort was. She had held comfort in knowing that there was a scientific explanation for everything. That one day she will be better than the girls here. That one day she would rise above them being able to achieve more than they ever would but that was bitterness. She was bitter. She wanted what they had. She wanted what she thought she would never be able to have. And for some reason, all that she had been trying to keep bottled up for years.  
  
These secrets about how hurt she had been had never been told to another living soul not even to Jacqueline. She felt that he could feel them too because she felt his emotions as well. She felt them. She felt how hurt he had been when his family was doing dark magic. She could feel how he had wanted to run away from all of that. But he couldn't because he was going to obey them. He wasn't going to let down his parents. She felt it. The struggle he had in his past and he, unlike her, confided in others and not his work. He was smart and she knew that. He confided in his charms trying to put on a brave face in front of everyone else, while he was hurting so much inside. While he was so ashamed of what his family was doing he pretended none of it was real. She felt it. Then he put his cheek right up against hers and without having to move his lips she heard what he said. Could it be? They were unlike anyone else. They were, Soulmates.  
  
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling of course for creating a wonderful character. And Definitely L. J. Smith for all the breathtaking stories about Soulmates and the power of love. 


End file.
